


we were caught up and lost in all of our vices

by brookethenerd



Category: Eyewitness (US TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-09-09 11:38:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8889325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brookethenerd/pseuds/brookethenerd
Summary: sometimes forgiveness is hard. and philip isnt sure he can do it.





	

Philip is used to taking hits. He is used to having the finger pointed at him. He is used to taking the fall. He is used to doing everything he can, even if it means his own unhappiness, to save the people he cares about.

So he isn’t all that surprised when Lukas shoves him under the bus and gives him a kick to the ribs for good measure.

What _is_ surprising is when he helps him back up.

Lukas hands Helen the gun, tells her that he was there, Philip was right, Philip was telling the truth.

All he can do is watch.

But he doesn’t know if he can forgive.

Helen takes Lukas to the station immediately after his confession, and Gabe heads inside to deal with social services, leaving Philip alone in the wreckage. He sits in the car for a long time, staring at the seat in front of him, mind completely blank.

Only when Gabe comes out to get him for dinner does he straggle inside, with Helen coming home in the middle of the meal. They all sit silently at the table, eyes on their plates, the events of the day sitting on all of their chests.

Philip heads up to bed early, and Gabe and Helen let him go. They don’t stop him, or ask him why he lied, why he let Lukas lie, why any of this happened in the first place, and how Philip is involved. They simply let him go.

He doesn’t get a wink of sleep. He spends the night tossing and turning in his bed, sheets sticking to his legs, the night of the cabin replaying over and over in his head.

Sometimes, it seems like a dream, or something he made up. Sometimes he can’t believe that he was there, that the man with the gun almost shot him, that Lukas saved his life. It’s a nightmare he never wakes up from, and the chaos that is unfolding because of it is continuing.

When the sun starts to pull above the ground, Philip drags himself out of bed, and gets dressed. He heads down to the dock, staying safely back, and crosses his arms, keeping his eyes on the water. The sun is only around for a moment before the clouds shift in front of it, leaving Philip with the cold and the gray sky.

Footsteps creak on the deck behind him, and he flinches. He turns around to find Lukas walking towards him, appearing to have gotten as little sleep as Philip.

“Philip.” Lukas says. Philip lets out a breath, keeping his arms crossed as he walks up the dock towards him, creating a barrier between them.

“You shouldn’t be here, Lukas.” Philip says.

“I needed to talk to you.”

Philip drops his gaze to his boots, and shakes his head lightly.

“What do you want from me? Another lie you want me to keep?”

“I told Helen the truth.”

“I know.” He says, lifting his eyes to Lukas’.

“I-“

“I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to be the scapegoat every time something goes wrong for you.”

Lukas’ brows pull together, and his lips part, like he wants to say something, but isn’t able to. Like he doesn’t have a voice anymore.

“What happened, Lukas? How did we get here?” Philip asks. He isnt sure what he means by the question, but it comes out anyway.

Lukas hesitates a moment before saying softly, “You happened.”

“What?”

“You happened, Philip. You-you showed up, and you changed everything. You came in and made me feel different, and I thought if I lied I could keep you, because the minute people find out, I’m going to lose you. But then I heard about social services, and I was going to lose you anyways, and I just…”

He’s never heard that much come from Lukas’ mouth; especially not that much truth.

“You happened. And I screwed up, I screwed it up so bad, but I can’t let them take you away.”

“Lukas.” Philip says softly.

“I’ll be better. I swear.” He says, frantic at this point.

Philip hesitates only a moment more before he closes the distance between them, takes Lukas’ face in his hands, and kisses him. Lukas kisses him fiercely, like Philip is air and Lukas is drowning. And Philip is drowning too, because he never realizes how much he misses Lukas until he’s with him, touching him, kissing him.

Only when Philip can’t breathe does he pull back. Lukas’ hands move to his neck, and his eyes scan his face.

“I wish I could hate you.” Philip says. Lukas’ lips curl up in a small smile, and he tips his head against Philip’s, closing his eyes.

“But you don’t.”

“I don’t.” Philip says.

He doesn’t hate Lukas. He could never hate Lukas. It’s more along the opposite lines, really. But that’s not something he needs Lukas to know right now, so he keeps it to himself, and kisses Lukas again.

 


End file.
